There is a period of time before I start each rough draft where I believe that somehow I have ascended to a new level of writing skill and this time, this time, I did all the outlining right, I thought everything through, and now I’m just going to slide from beginning to end like an Olympic bobsledding team.
It lasts about 20,000 words.
And then, inevitably, there’s this little voice that pipes up out of nowhere and says, okay, but what about this? You know what “this” is. It’s that Jenga piece that looks wobbly enough to pull loose but turns out to be essential to the structure of the whole tower. Wham.
Here’s the stupid, frustrating truth: in order to write a good book, you must make a big damn mess. I’m usually wary of making those kinds of generalizations, but I feel pretty confident about this one. Good stories are complex, entertaining, and nuanced, and if you want all three of those things, you’re going to have to completely wreck everything at some point. If you’re me, it happens once in the outlining stage, once in the rough draft stage, and once in the revision stage. At least.
But as I was angstily throwing things at my draft to see what stuck last weekend, I realized something else: so much of being a writer is just relentless problem-solving. And your ability to make progress as a writer will in large part depend on how pouty you are about constant failure. If you can learn to just sigh heavily and start putting the stupid Jenga tower back together again, you will be just fine. If you cry when the Jenga tower falls down, rend your garments, and refuse to play Jenga ever again, I have concerns about your suitability for this work. That doesn’t mean you can’t be frustrated. It just means that you gotta be willing to come up with half a dozen solutions to any given problem, some better than others, and consider that your draft might look different than you thought it would. Consider that your entire book is actually about something other than you thought. Consider that you are starting in the wrong place, writing from the wrong POV, ending the wrong way, and that your book is the wrong genre. (Or all of those at once—I don’t know your life.) Consider it, and be willing to change everything because of it. I can assure you that I have, at one time, realized every single one of those things about a draft. Each one straight up ruined my life for awhile. The books are better for it.
(One time I had to change TENSES, guys. It was. So goddamn annoying.)
So this is my writing advice to close out 2020: don’t panic when you make a big, horrible mess. The mess means something is working.
Not sure I can say the same for 2020-- this year was a big bag of crap for most people, and I don’t like pretending there’s something inherently redemptive about struggle. Life isn’t an after school special; there’s not always a lesson at the end of a given challenge. Sometimes it was just hard and then one day, it stops being as hard. I do hope you found growth in all the difficulty. But if you didn’t, and it was just bad, I hope it gets less bad for you in 2021.
If you’re looking for things to do during the holidays, might I recommend listening to the Divergent movie commentary track? If you want to listen along with the movie, just start the movie at the same time Margot Wood and I say to in the recording. There’s a big BEEP, you can’t miss it. Recording it was such a fun walk down memory lane.
How 2020 Began
How 2020 Ended
Also, here are some groups of five things I liked this year:
Books
First of all, did I mention that my newest book, CHOSEN ONES, came out this year? It’s about what happens ten years after you save the world from a being of incredible evil and become one of the most famous people in the history of time. It’s good, and you will like it. I feel pretty confident about that generalization, too. But here are some others:
Court of Lions by Somaiya Daud
Blue Ticket by Sophie Mackintosh
Never Let Me Go by Kazuo Ishiguro
Harrow the Ninth by Tamsyn Muir
The Left-Handed Booksellers of London by Garth Nix
PODS
First Draft by Sarah Enni – this year, Sarah did a special series called Track Changes where she talked to a wide array of people about the business of publishing books. It’s a great resource if you want to understand the publishing industry on a practical, realistic level. I’m so glad it exists!
Comedy Bang Bang - just listen to all the Andy Daly episodes if you need a place to start
Limetown - I know, I’m late
You’re Wrong About - the episodes about famously maligned women are so great
TV/MOVIES
Listen, this year I was like a delicate little flower that needed to be gently cradled by television and movies, so I didn’t watch…most of the stuff that came out. But I did occasionally take a break from endlessly looping Bob’s Burgers (which is also great).
The Vast of Night (movie)
Elementary (the TV show) – if you like a light-hearted but not empty-headed procedural, which I do, this one is great. I never watched it when it was on, but I am enjoying the binge watch.
Babysitter’s Club - I used to think I was a Mary Anne, but actually I am a Kristy.
Only Lovers Left Alive (movie)
The Old Guard (movie) – god this movie was fun
SONGS
I’m on Spotify, and I put my book playlists up there if you want to give them a listen! Right now there’s one for Chosen Ones, The End and Other Beginnings, both Cyra and Akos from Carve the Mark, and one specifically for Inertia (a short story in The End and Other Beginnings).
See you in 2021!
V